My Friend Rich Mahe

Rich Mahe passed away recently at a young age. He was the loving father of five. The youngest of his children was just a few months old. Fortunately for his wife and children, they have a tremendous family that will pull together to help in these difficult times. For that, I am grateful.


I first met Rich when I was in tech school at Wichita Falls for the Air Force. I didn't get to know him that well, because he was a few weeks ahead of me and our schedules were quite different. But in the few moments I got to see him, I knew right away that I liked him a lot. That is pretty strange for me. I have never really had too many friends, usually by choice. But I immediately took to Rich. He always had a huge smile and positive outlook no matter how bad things seemed. He was my complete opposite.

He graduated and went off to Minot, ND to start his Air Force career. A couple weeks later, I too got the orders to head off to the baren lands of North Dakota. As much as I hated being sent there, I couldn't help but be happy to see Rich was there too. At least I would have a friend.

We became pretty close right away. It was an odd pairing, Rich the eternal optomist and me the guy with the glass half empty. He had a very strong faith and I had none. But he was therapeutic to me. Everytime I was around him I could not be angry, mad, upset, or bitter. My usual foul mouth was always tempered around him. It wasn't that he cared if I let loose the occassional f-bomb. It was that I cared. I didn't feel comfortable being profane around him even though he never complained about it. We once had a conversation about this. I asked him why he never got mad when I would start swearing or doing something else that would be frowned on from up above. His answer was simple and one I will never forget. He said he didn't have to answer for my actions. I did.

The one thing I did for Rich that we always ended up talking about for years after was make his messages on his answering machine. I referred to him as the "Tongan Heartthrob" for his ability to have girls fall for him. They liked him, but he had no idea what to do with them. Besides, he was saving himself for his wife. I also called him the "Tongan Warrior" because he was so opposite of a warrior out of his uniform. So I made these messages for him where I would do my best announcer voice and speak of his greatness. I said he was "every girls dream, and every man's nightmare" or "breaking girls hearts and breaking guys faces." They were more funny than they sound here and I did them on a weekly basis. They became quite popular around the base.

The other topic we often covered was his love life, or lack of it. He admitted he had not always led a perfectly moral life, but at this time he was totally resolute on waiting until marriage. I didn't believe him. But time after time I saw girls throw themselves at him only to have him turn them away. I couldn't believe he had such will. More than me, for sure. He said he was waiting for the perfect girl. She would be Mormon, blonde, and Tongan. I didn't think they existed, but he said she was out there. In the entire time I knew him, I never saw Rich as much as flirt with a girl until he met his true love, Martha. Waiting obviously was the right choice, even if she wasn't blonde.

The one thing that he did care about that became a running gag was rated R movies. He didn't like them. So whenever he came to my room or I went to his, I tried to sneak one on. We would end up wrestling over the remote until he won out. But I didn't mind, because Rich had an amazing ability that I have never seen in anyone before or after.  No matter how uncool he seemed, Rich was a blast to be around

He was the squarest person I have ever met. He didn't drink, swear, smoke, have sex, or do ANYTHING bad at all. His religion consumed him. Basically, I was the complete opposite (except for the smoking). But Rich was COOL. Everyone liked him. From the biggest nerd, to the coolest jock, to the average slacker, everyone liked Rich. I was his biggest fan. He was never boring. All his "limitations" on the fun factor were cancelled out by his genuine coolness. I have met a lot of very nice people. I have never met a person as nice and fun to be around as Rich Mahe. Even the higher ranking airmen in Minot instantly liked the "Tongan Heartthrob."



When I arrived in Minot I was engaged to a girl who was going through tech school back in Wichita Falls. When she got orders to another base, we had to make an instant decision to get married in order for her to get sent to Minot. I had to take emergency leave to do it. A little nervous and not wanting to do such a long trip alone, I asked Rich if he would go along and be my best man. I expected him to say no because the notice was short and it would cost him leave he had built up. To my surprise he immediately said yes.

Our trip from Minot to Texas and back again was among the best times I have ever had in my life as well as my best memories of Rich. We were in a hurry, but we got to stop at a few landmarks along the way such as Mount Rushmore. Mostly, though we just talked for 2 days each way. We were so completely opposite that I think we both enjoyed each others outlook on life. As I said previously, I was mostly just amazed at what a good guy he was. He never had a negative word to say about anyone. He never complained about any lousy situation. He was always looking at the bright side.

The wedding took place in the courthouse with only Rich as a witness. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else. The ride back was a race. We were short on time and made the trip back in only 20 hours, averaging 70 mph with stops. Again, it was mostly just conversation. But in those conversations I really developed an intense admiration for him.  And though I never came close to living up to his standards, I always knew who to point to as an example of what it means to be a quality human being.

Once my wife arrived in Minot, we both hung out with Rich as much as possible. She liked him as much as I did.  He was single and living in the dorms, so we always invited him over to our house. We had little to no furniture, so we would often cook on our little mini grill in the garage and sit on buckets. No beer, just soda, juice or water. We grilled some great burgers and hot dogs in those days.

Eventually, Rich got orders to England, and I was selfishly devastated. I know he was happy to be getting out of Minot and going overseas, but it hit me hard. I hated Minot, and now that Rich was gone, I hated it even more. I put in my request to go overseas and was sent to Korea.

Our military careers both would come to an end soon enough. He had his accident in England, and I opted to get out and go to the Guard after I was done in Korea. We talked sporadically, and after spending six months in the UAE for the Guard, I called him when I got back and he told me he was getting married to a wonderful girl named Martha. I asked if she was the blonde haired, Tongan Mormon that he had dreamed of. He said no, she was better. So I was invited to his wedding in California and asked to be part of it. Obviously I couldnt say no and hurriedly made the arrangements to go.

Rich picked me up when I arrived in California and we made our way back to his mother's house. They were having a party in celebration of the upcoming marriage. I had never been around so many Tongans before and felt a little out of place at first. But that would quickly change. As soon as I arrived, I was offered my choice of meat off the 6 ft. grill they were cooking on. There were no veggies, no plates, and not much else. Just a lot of meat! These guys took food seriously! So i gnawed on a rib and got to know the family.

Every one of them treated me like I was part of the family. Rich's mother was particularly kind. She made sure I was comfortable and had anything I needed. By the time I left, I felt like I had a second mom. What an amazing woman. When I left to go back to Tennessee, she made sure to invite me back, and I knew she meant it.

The wedding took place at the beautiful Mormon temple in Oakland. Since I was not Mormon, I had to wait outside with a lot of the others. Although I would like to have seen it, I was happy Rich got to have his dream wedding inside.

The wedding reception was among the most bizarre/wonderful experiences I have ever been involved in. If you have never been to a Tongan wedding, you are missing out. Of course there was food...lots of it. And there was dancing. A lot of it. At one point they put baby oil on the bride while she dances and the guests go and place money on her bare skin. If the money sticks, it is supposed to signify purity I was told. Of course not a dollar dropped off Martha! They also did this with a lot of the children. The native dances were a great treat. At another point there was a succession of presents brought in. The highlights were these amazing hand woven blankets. I was told that the length had a lot to do with the status of the family presenting them. So some of these blankets were of absurd length. And they were absolutely gorgeous. The bride and groom typically give these away as presents, and Rich said he had one for me, but sadly I never got it. I really regret that because they were not only beautiful, but it would have been a nice memory of Rich. I was told he had to get a truck to move them all.

I didn't stay long after the wedding as I needed to head back to Tennessee. I spent a little more time with Rich and we got to catch up on a lot. We promised to keep in touch and I was on my way.

Over the next couple of years I went through a lot of personal difficulties. I did a few things I was not proud of and moved around quite a bit. I talked to Rich very infrequently, though I knew I would get back into contact eventually. As I said before, I had always looked at Rich as a picture of all that could be right in a person. I was far from that, so I didn't feel right talking to him. I vowed that when I got my situation right, I would talk to him a lot more. He had always told me he would have 12 kids, so I was monitoring his progress. It seemed like each time I talked to him, he had another kid on the way. Although he joked that he was going to stall out at 5.

The past year I had really started to get my act back together. I got remarried to a wonderful woman who certainly would have met Rich's approval. She shares a lot of the traits with Rich that I admire so much. A few months ago he added me to his facebook and I sent a note asking for his number since I had lost it in my move. I never heard back from him. It appears this is when he started to really feel ill. I did not know that, and I really regret not pushing the matter so that we could have spoke at least one last time.

I have nobody to blame over us losing contact over the past few years but myself. I always figured I could make up for lost time when I got myself back together. In fact, I was expecting that I might possibly be moving to Atlanta in the near future and was anticipating a reunion. Unfortunately, I will never get that chance.

I don't pretend to be one of Rich's best friends. He was loved by so many that it would have been hard for me to rank too highly. And I certainly didn't act like one. But he was definitely mine. I always compared ourselves to Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday in the movie "Tombstone" where they ask Doc why he is helping Wyatt even though he was sick. Doc simply said because Wyatt was his friend. The other cowboy says "Hell, I got a lot of friends" and Doc says, "I don't." That's why I want to be there for my friend now. When times are this tough, I want to be there and help him no matter what. I wish I could have done it in life, but it is too late for that, so I want to do my part now to make sure the world knows what a special guy Rich was as well as his family. So I am starting this page to honor him and his memory. 

The Race For Rich is my effort to help ontribute to taking care of Rich's family. They were the most important thing in his life, so it is up to all of us that loved him to make sure that they are taken care of. This will help in some small part contribute to that. I also would like to start a foundation in Rich's name. When I think of Rich, the first thing that comes to my mind is how happy he made people. No matter how bad your day was, any contact from Rich seemed to change that. So why can't we continue that tradition in his name? With his family's blessing, I think a foundation that gives out random acts of kindness to people would be incredible. In the following article, I will outline the Race For Rich in detail.




The most beautiful person I have ever come across in my 37 years was Rich Mahe. He was kind, generous, loving, and always had a positive outlook. Nobody ever had a negative word to say about him and he never had a negative word to say about them. He is an example for everyone to live by. I, for one, am taking up the challenge. I realize I will never be anything like him, but I am going to do my best to live with the spirit of Rich to guide me. Already this has paid dividends. As I have mentioned, my temper is not always the best. So every time I have become angry for some trivial reason (ie. car cuts me off), and I start to get mad, I immediately think of how Rich would react. It calms me down and I just relax. I also have been making a habit of smiling more. Rich had a smile that could light up a room. Why can't I do the same? If everyone could live by his example, think of how much better the world would be?

Rich, I love you my friend, and I am not going to let you down. This will be the hardest thing I have ever tried, but with your help, I have no doubt I will make it. I have to because what I am doing is for you and all the people you love so much. I am sorry this is all I have to give. Thanks for having the impact on my life that you did as well as so many others. You will be forever remembered. God Bless You!